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33 Baby Steps to Banishing the Bulge

July 30, 2010

People say it’s normal to gain weight when in a relationship. Maybe it’s because you become less conscious about what you eat and how you look. Maybe it’s because you spend less time out-and-about burning calories and more time lazing and grazing at home with your loved one. Whatever the reason, L and I are definitely in the category of “people who have gained weight since they’ve started dating”… joy. In my case, both the previous reasons apply as well as a number of other ones:

1. I show my love by feeding people. No, not literally feeding them, but cooking for them. Unfortunately, steamed carrots do not translate into a very amorous statement.

2. I have a very expandable stomach. That means that if I keep myself busy and behave, my stomach/appetite shrinks. Unchecked, I can almost match L (who is almost a foot taller than me and several inches wider).

3. We spend way too much time sitting at home on our computers; L is a computer programming genius (she says with not a trace of subjectivity) who has been working from home since we started travelling and I… erm, what was I going to claim as my excuse again? Crap, I forgot.

4. It’s gotten to the point where I’m embarrassed to exercise in front of others because A.) I think I might put people off and B.) I might die from sheer exertion due to my current pathetic level of fitness.

I’m okay with my body about a third of the time. The other two thirds of the time I’m either slightly less-than-impressed with myself or I’m sobbing into a pillow and wondering how and why I allowed myself to turn into such a whale. Okay, so a whale is slightly exaggerating… I’m more baby seal than whale, but nevertheless, a sea creature with blubbery proportions is not something one aspires to ever look like.

No point feeling miserable though, is there? Feeling bummed doesn’t melt fat any more than wishful thinking and glancing longingly at clothes that no longer fit you. Damn. I woke to similar sentiments this morning and thought to myself ‘enough is enough’. Of course, being the scattered cat that I am, I often have life-changing thoughts or grandiose ideas only to either lose interest or outright forget about them as I get swept away by something else or get distraccc… ooOooh! What’s that? That’s niiiiice!

What was I saying??? And that, unfortunately, is how it often goes.

Question: what would you get if you mixed a coconut crab and a eurasian Scarlett O’Hara?

Answer: me… just wave something shiny and I’m gone with the wind… that was bad, wasn’t it? Yeah. I know.

So far, though, so good. Okay, so it’s only been one sodding day, but hey! Baby steps, right? I have the added motivation to stick with this as we have a trip to Spain lined up in September with two or three old friends who are frustratingly slim and gorgeous. L has said that he’s going to join in on the… “streamlining attempt” (although I must say that he doesn’t seem too pleased about it… especially the ‘no alcohol for two weeks’ bit). To be honest, I did actually want to make that a month, but we have ‘family things’ and our ‘family things’ require alcohol. Trust me. It softens the daggers, weakens the tempers and soothes the nerves. Two weeks in a rural Swiss village with my family sans alcool will be an achievement in itself. Other than that, we’re going to be avoiding cream, butter, cheese, bread, ice cream, chocolate, sausages… did I mention we’re in a small Swiss country village? That list of ingredients makes almost everything on a typical restaurant menu here a ‘no-no’. But never mind that… the point is to be more aware of what we eat and to have a more healthy diet and lifestyle. As that means not just monitoring our intake, but changing our output from… well, zero to something… I will be inserting gentle blocks of exercise into my week. The aim is to start small and build on it; not to freak myself out with anything too full-on.

Day One down, only 32 to go.



One Comment leave one →
  1. July 31, 2010 19:42

    Saying whale is definitely more than a little bit of an exaggeration.. You are totally gorgeous, and getting worked up over nothing. That said, a bit of activity is definitely going to do us some good, as is the healthier eating. But two weeks without alcohol? I thought it was one..

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